Sink of Terror
by Shiloh Moon
Summary: After Winry installs a new kitchen invention, Ed becomes uncomfortable with the idea of having a spinning-blade death trap at the bottom of their sink. When Ed loses sleep over this, Winry has had enough: she drags him into the kitchen and shows him how it works. One-Shot.


Sink of Terror

 **Disclaimer: I don't own FMA.**

 **Welcome to my fifth one-shot! This was inspired by one of my very own nightmares! Hooray! I did a fair amount of research for this, but I'm not perfect. Forgive me if some of my facts are not up-to-date.**

 **Warnings: Foul language.**

 **Pairings: Ed/Winry. (Ugh, romance, I know…)**

 **Enjoy. :)**

o.O.0.O.o

The moment she stepped over the threshold, an ambush awaiting her arrival was unleashed. Two giggling munchkins tottered into the kitchen at hearing their mother's purse plop onto the counter. No sooner than when Winry halted to heave a box onto the table with a heavy thud, the munchkins latched themselves to the bottom of her calves. Then the older one, a small boy whom took after his father in looks, detached himself from her ankle to bounce up and down excitedly. His mouth became a blur as an onslaught of incoherent speech poured out. Winry simply smiled and ruffled his golden hair.

"Hello to you too, Nicky." she greeted.

Releasing an exhausted sigh, Winry slung her coat onto the rack near the door and leaned against the island counter. She rubbed her darkened eyes before bending down to pick up their youngest child. Winry gathered the baby in her arms and began examining the box she brought in with her, scanning the instructions with critical precision.

Her concentration broke when a voice from the living room doorway said, "Sarah threw up in her crib again. I was just about to call when you… Wait, what is _that_?"

Winry turned to see her husband standing under the door arc, his intense golden gaze narrowed in suspicion. She traced his line of sight to the box on the table. She sighed again.

"Just a new kitchen appliance," she drawled in reply, "Paninya says they work wonders. I found one on sale and figured I'd give it a shot. I'll have it installed by tonight, hopefully."

His eyes only narrowed more. "No, I meant what _is_ it? What does it do?"

"It crushes up food so it passes through the pipes easier. Now can we just hold off on—"

Suddenly, the baby in her arms started screaming and squirming. Winry scrunched her nose in displeasure, a rather ugly stench making its way up her nostrils. It smelled strongly of vomit and half-digested babyfood.

Before she could groan in misery, her wonderful husband came over and took their screaming daughter from her arms.

"I'll clean Sarah's crib," he assured her, giving her a knowing smile, "Go take a shower and get some sleep. I'll take it from here."

The exhausted woman offered him a smile in return and wrapped her arms around him. "Thank you, Ed. You have no idea how much that means to me right now."

A strong, warm arm wrapped itself around her as he kissed her forehead and replied, "No problem."

Nicky pulled on his father's pant leg insistently. "Daddy, Daddy!"

"What, what?" he responded, breaking their hug.

"I pooted."

"You… you _what_?"

Nicky's golden eyes bore into his father's as he repeated, "I _pooted_."

After a moment, Edward finally understood. The corner of his lip quirked up in dramatic disgust. "Ewww!"

Winry laughed before patting her husband on the shoulder. "Good luck."

Then she disappeared down the hall, leaving her boys to sort things out for themselves.

o.O.0.O.o

The next day, at approximately two in the afternoon, Edward and his two kids were seated in the reading chair. Edward in the actual chair, baby Sarah cradled in her father's arms, and Nicky sitting on the chair's arm, peering over Edward's shoulder as he read aloud.

His wife was currently installing their newest appliance in the kitchen, making quite a racket as she did so. Even though the device itself did not take up much space, Winry had to practically tear apart the entire sink to fit it inside the cabinet below. Nonetheless, Edward effortlessly ignored the noise and waded through the excruciatingly-painful-to-read children's storybook.

Edward had reached the tenth and final page of torture and all was well. Until an ear-shattering fracas jolted every nerve in his body. The horrible noise continued and Edward smashed his palms into his ears in an attempt to block it out. To his immediate relief, the noise ceased. However, the abrupt disturbance caused Sarah to squeal in distress shortly after.

"WHAT THE _HELL_ WAS THAT?!" he shouted over his daughter's screams.

"Watch your language around the kids, Ed!" Winry shouted back.

After wincing, Edward quickly told Nicky, "Don't say 'hell' okay? That's an adult word."

Nicky smiled and agreed, "Okay, Daddy! ~"

"And it was the garbage disposal," Winry continued, "It's up all set up now."

Edward scrunched his nose in irritation, waiting for his nerves to calm down as he comforted a distressed Sarah. "What exactly does it do, again?"

"I told you, it crushes food."

"Why do we need to crush food?"

"So it passes through the pipes easier!"

"Why do we need food to go down the pipes?!"

"BECAUSE IT COLLECTS AT THE BOTTOM OF THE SINK WHEN I WASH THE DISHES! And it clogs up the pipes when there's too much of it!"

"ALRIGHTY THEN! Sheesh!" he finished angrily.

Meanwhile, Nicky wore a confused expression as his eyes flicked between the sound of his mother's voice and his father. Sarah just sniffled unhappily as the shouting died down.

o.O.0.O.o

Later that night, Edward lay awake in bed. A small frown pulled at his lips. Since getting into bed, his thoughts were allowed to roam free and fester into the daunting assumption he'd come to make. This assumption kept him from the precious recess of sleep and troubled him to no end. He just couldn't live with himself knowing that that death trap at the bottom of the sink eagerly awaited the opportunity to chew up a young, curious hand. He tossed and turned for hours, unsettled and almost afraid of what the future would hold in that kitchen.

Every now and again a distressed, unmanly whimper escaped him despite his efforts to hide his anxiety. Images of spinning blades riddled his rogue train of thought. He winced involuntarily as more images poured in: Winry's hair becoming tangled in the blades as she leans over the sink to activate the despicable device, yanking her head into the drain as the sharpened metal begins to spin. Nicky's hand being chopped clean off after unsuspectingly reaching into the drain to retrieve a dropped item. Or baby Sarah falling into the serrated death-pit during one of her sink-baths.

That last image sent Edward's panic over the edge. The man abruptly threw off the covers and sat up. His chest heaved erratically, his skin glistening with sweat.

In the bed next to him, his wife groaned as she levered herself upright. "What is it _now_? If it's Sarah again—"

"No," he interrupted, "It's not Sarah. Well, _kind of_ , but not really…"

"Get to the point." she growled impatiently.

Edward clicked his jaw shut in shame, but said nothing else. Winry sighed and guessed, "It's the garbage disposal, isn't it?"

A small grunt escaped him, but still he said nothing.

Then his wife threw off her side of the covers and stood. Ed watched curiously as she slipped on her robe and angrily marched to his side of the bed.

"Come on," she said, yanking him to his feet.

Surprised, he gasped, "Wait! What are you—"

"We're going to fix this," she snapped, dragging him out the door, "Right now!"

Edward's eyes widened to saucers, however he could do nothing to resist his wife's death-grip as she pulled him closer and closer to his nightmare, though he tried his darnedest.

Once they arrived in the kitchen, Winry released his hand and paced over to the sink. Edward swallowed nervously and slowed to a stop about halfway to the counter. She turned around and glared at him.

"Get over here, you big baby!" she commanded.

Swallowing once more, he closed the rest of the distance. Then his wife disappeared into the living room and came back with one of the kids' toys a moment later. It was Sarah's little wooden rocking horse. Winry held it up for Ed to see and then proceeded to drop it into the sink.

Ed braced himself as his wife reached for the switch. The horrible noise flooded the room, and then stopped. He uncovered his ears and looked up to see Winry sticking her hand inside the drain to retrieve the toy. He winced slightly. Then a confused frown ruled his face as she pulled the wooden horse out, completely intact. Not a scratch.

"Huh?" he said, swiping the toy from her to inspect it.

Winry sighed and rubbed her face. "See? It's perfectly safe."

Edward's brow furrowed skeptically. He turned the toy every which way and scanned its entirety. Nothing. Yet, he concluded, "I don't believe it. This has to be a trick. You did something to it!"

Winry scowled. "No, I didn't! Here, see for yourself."

She took the flashlight out from behind the knife block and shined the light down the drain. Edward cautiously peered over the rim of the sink as his wife explained,

"See, no blades! Just little metal nubs at the bottom. Their job is to push the food against the permeable walls and through a secondary grate. Your hand might come away with a few scratches and cuts, but generally you'd pull it out before any real damage can be done."

Ed's shoulders dropped in relief as he looked down and noticed she was right. "O-Oh…. That makes me feel so much better…" Suddenly, all of those images from earlier melted away.

"Mommy, Daddy?" a timid voice called.

They turned around to find Nicky standing at the hall entrance, rubbing his eyes tiredly and clutching his beloved stuffed panda bear toy, which was a gift from his uncle.

"What was that noise?" he mumbled, looking up at his parents.

The two shared a small smile before Edward gently ushered him back to his room. "It was just the garbage disposal, Nicky."

"Your daddy was just being a chicken, sweat-pea," she added, "Now get to bed. It's late."

Her husband shot her a glare before opening their son's bedroom door.

Nicky yawned before sauntering back towards his bed. "Okay… Goodnight."

"Goodnight," his parents called back in unison.

o.O.0.O.o

A few months later, Edward lounged on the living room couch, contently scanning the pages of one of his old alchemy tomes. His two children played with their toys on the carpeted floor, the occasional screech erupting from the younger when the elder swiped her teething rings. The sun's rays bathed the room in soft golden light, washing the room with comfortable warmth.

Interrupting the near-peaceful moment, the back door suddenly swung open as someone entered. Rolling his eyes in irritation, Ed twisted his neck around to see into the kitchen. A singular eyebrow shot up when he saw a large box being wheeled into the house by none other than Paninya. Winry followed her in and shut the door behind them, and soon their two children sprung from their positions on the floor, Sarah now walking on unsteady feet instead of crawling. Girly squeals from his wife and her friend flooded the kitchen as the small children ran to greet them.

Edward however, did not give them such a warm welcome.

He moseyed to a stop under the doorway and said, "What's in the box, _Winry_?"

"Nothing you need to concern yourself with, _Ed_ ," she snapped back.

Over the next few minutes, Edward would scan the box top-to-bottom, inspecting it for any dangerous elements. In this time, Paninya had taken the two kids outside, leaving him alone with his wife. Finally, Winry shouted,

"Leave it alone, Ed!"

"Then tell me what it is!" he shouted back.

"It's just a new vacuum cleaner, you dumbass! Now go on! Get!"

His wife had decidedly locked him out of the house while she worked to assemble their new carpet cleaner. And when Ed began fretting about it the following night, instead of giving him the mercy of explaining its operating system, she ran the thing constantly, letting her insufferable husband believe that it would one day suck up one of the kids.

o.O.0.O.o

 **Yeah… I think Ed was a bit out of character, but that's that. I needed to find a way to write this, and that was the best I could come up with.**

 **By the way, from now on, whenever I write Ed and Winry's kids I'll use those names. I quite like them, and I think it would've been too much of a cliché if I named them Nina and Maes. So Sarah and Nicky it is.**

 **Thanks for reading, and I hope you enjoyed this! Even though I hate romance with a burning passion, I could not resist the temptation of writing that first scene. So you're welcome, all of you romance fans out there!**

 **Until next time! ~**


End file.
